FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND FOUND THINGS: A Little Post-Holiday Party Reflection

As I sit here in my not-quite-yet-cleaned-up kitchen the morning after our Annual Holiday Party (see note below) – it is getting there, with both dishwashers stuffed full and the third round of hand-wash only items drying on the counter – sipping on left-over warmed-up party coffee, okay with a bit of Saint Brendan’s in it, and nibbling on left-over biscotti, while enjoying the rocking Christmas mix that Jim made for the party which we never actually hear at the party itself because of the sounds of wonderful conversation and laughter, I am besieged with feelings that I am the luckiest girl on earth and that this life is as grand as one is willing to make it. (How’s that for an opening run-on sentence?)

Some years the party has been harder to pull off than others. There was the year that it snowed and was dangerously icy so we had very few guests except for some hardy neighbors willing to slip-and-slide their way here. Jim always says that the week after the party is his favorite week of the year because of all the party leftovers, some eaten as is and others creatively transformed into dishes that we don’t usually get during the rest of the year. After attending the party one year, one of my daughter’s friends asked her “Do you guys always eat like this?” Um, no, if we did we would be gargantuan! So, yes, I understand Jim’s love of leftover week, but on that super snowy year with its low attendance, I think even he was sick of leftovers before we decided we had enough and tossed the rest.

 There was the year that I got overly ambitious about the menu and about half the dishes that I had planned and pre-prepped never made it out of the kitchen. I have since refined the entire process so that even though there is a lot of work that goes into it, the party is a well-oiled machine. My now notorious party planning binder is evidence of that fine-tuning and as I start planning each year, I always spend considerable time in tab #10 of “The Book” which is titled “Ghosts of Christmas past and future” where that particular year’s over-reaching menu is a constant reminder to keep it simple. I get a lot of grief about The Book, but it is indispensable and helps to make this annual event actually happen and makes it easier each year. This year’s improvement was shopping lists created in Access and sorted by ingredient, recipe, store, and on-hand items. Yes, I am a geek, but it sure is efficient and I love this new aspect of The Book almost as much as I love my new Q10, yet another verification of my geekiness.

There was the year after my dad, my dog, and my dear friend Abby all died within a couple months of each other. In the year that I now refer to as “my bad country song” year, going into the Christmas season I was nearly convinced that I could not accomplish the party. Abby had always flown in, first from Chicago then from Denver where she lived, to help me with the party. The party and our annual beach trip to her family’s condo on the Emerald Coast were the only time we spend together anymore each year, and I treasured that time as much as I treasured her love and friendship. Although the party that year probably wasn’t my best effort, I got through it. And it was the year that the glass tomato found its way to my kitchen island. Abby had bought it for me one year during our trip to Florida as a joke because I always teased her about having to stop at every farm stand on the way from the airport to the beach in search of the perfect tomato. Now Abby is with me, in spirit in the form of that tomato, not just at every Christmas party but every single day. 

Of course, most years the party is tons of fun, otherwise I obviously wouldn’t keep doing it. It’s a chance to see old friends that I don’t get to see throughout the year and to give the gift of hospitality to the wonderful people in the community I am so fortunate to live in. Every year I am amazed at the discovery of yet another unknown connection between people in my different circles. I will see people chatting at the party that I didn’t even realize knew each other – and it turns out that husbands were fraternity brothers in college, now-grown kids were in preschool together, they or some mutual friend were former colleagues or opposing counsels in a case long ago. It is kind of awesome to bring people together again like that. Apparently Washington DC is a pretty small town after all.

Yesterday certainly goes into the books as a spectacular success. There were moments that completely blew me away and even brought me to tears. In the morning, while rummaging through a bin of craft things looking for dried lotus pods I wanted to incorporate into the floral arrangement I was making for the mantel, I found a beloved object that had been lost for many years and I had assumed was gone forever; I am taking my finding it now as a sign that my friend Jon who passed away just a few weeks ago and Abby are together again and that makes me smile. Later in the day, I was ahead enough in readying for the party that I was able to pause and go enjoy a lovely holiday dance performance by my girls with a tap number so amazing that Jim’s jaw literally dropped as he glanced over at me with that “I-can’t-believe-what-just-saw” look. Back in the kitchen, my family and I delighted in our annual rousing “Kitchen Stadium” countdown as we got food on the table for the party. Once guests arrived, two miraculous moments came when first I was given great news that my good friend who is moving to Texas (man, am I going to miss her and her family) had procured a replacement for her crucial swim team job, and someone who is perfect for the job and I look forward to working with, which takes a load of my mind. Then, later in the party as I came around the corner from the kitchen into the dining room with replenishments of food in my hand there stood a dear friend and soul mate that I hadn’t seen in years, although I kept up with her on Facebook and Pinterest (social media is wonderful but it ain’t the real thing). I burst into tears of joy.

I had so many wonderful, meaningful moments in a single day with my family and so many fantastic friends. As I finally finish writing this piece this evening in a now-clean kitchen, sipping leftover party wine – and who doesn’t love leftover wine! – I have concluded that I am pretty sure I will be doing it all over again next year. I guess I better start working on “The Book” for 2014. Well, maybe after all of the leftovers are gone.

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NOTE: Okay, almost annual. There have been a few years since we started in 1995 that we have missed – 2000 when we had our brand new baby from China and I was a bit overwhelmed by new motherhood; 2002 when we were in China again to pick up daughter number two; 2005 when we were still in the midst of the whole-house renovations that dragged on way too long (don’t they always!); 2009 when we took the girls back to China for a Homecoming tour; and 2012 when I had my little feeling-sorry-for-myself-because-you-blew-off-my-50th-birthday trip to Las Vegas for Cirque Week. I didn’t even do Christmas cards in 2012 and the number of people who told me they thought they had been axed from my party invite list was astounding. Trust me folks, once on you the list you have to be in prison on death row, move and be unfindable (like Witness Protection Program unfindable), or die to get booted off that list!

Enough Political Piracy

ENOUGH POLITICAL PIRACY

Eleven days into the government shutdown I decided to enjoy a distraction in the form of the movie “Captain Phillips,” based on the April 2009 hijacking of the U.S. container ship Maersk Alabama by Somali pirates. It was the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in 200 years. Sadly, it has only been 18 years since the last government shutdown, which like the current one was also engineered by political pirates.

I am not going to lay blame on the Republicans, the President, Tea Party, or Democrats. Goodness knows there is enough blame to go around and taking sides will only stop some, on one side or the other, from reading on. Rather than choose sides and forward anyone’s objective, I would prefer to refocus the issue in a way that all of those truly being hurt by these shenanigans – and by that I mean ALL Americans at the moment or in the near future, regardless of your political persuasion, and likely many more across the globe eventually – can rally around. Or as Captain Phillips told his crew upon his ship being boarded by armed pirates, “Stick together and we’ll be alright.”

The movie metaphorically highlighted the fact that it is time that we all, together, simply say, “Enough!” to what is going on with our federal government and insist that they move on with the business at hand. About a third of the way into the movie, and the third time or so that I heard someone in the film say “Enough!,” I was hit hard with an overwhelming realization of the parallel between our current political crisis and the artful dramatization of those hellish, real-life five days endured by Captain Richard Phillips. Throughout the movie, the pirates kept repeating “Don’t worry. Everything gonna be okay.” And yet, it was pretty clear to the viewer - as I am sure it was at some point to those involved in the piracy and hostage-taking - that the events were on a collision course to disaster. The pain inflicted on Americans, their economy, and their reputation with the rest of the world, in the past 11 days, to say nothing of the coming inaction and continued pointless bickering, is likewise an obvious disaster in the making.

Captain Phillips is the face of the American people being held hostage by pirates, by those with only their personal goals and ideology, which they no longer understand nor any longer fits their needs or current circumstances, in mind. A very prophetic line in the movie comes from the pirate leader Muse, “It was supposed to be easy. I take ship. Ransom. Nobody get hurt.” Perhaps all of our leaders need to stop faux-gallantly standing their ground, showboating for the media, and take time to watch this movie, and perhaps see a bit of themselves in the pirates. If nothing else this exchange between captor and hostage might ring a bell:

Muse: You talk too much.
Captain Phillips: You’re problem isn’t me talking, it’s you not listening.

The current political path results in nothing more than a self-absorbed, inalterable outcome, which some would ignore at their own and everyone else’s peril. The pirate Muse demonstrates this very damning trait when he states, “I’ve come too far, I can’t give up now,” even as he knows that he can not win. In case there is any question in his mind on the issue, Captain Phillips warns him, “The navy is not gonna let you win! They would rather sink this boat, than let you win.” We don’t yet know who will be the Navy Seals in this hostage taking of the American people, but they are coming and the politicians need to consider the consequences if they choose to simply dig their heels in no matter what as the Somali pirates did. It would be a shame for our country if the American people or our liberators have to sink the boat to make the madness stop.

In the end, the hero off the Somali coast in 2009 lived to see another day. Hopefully, the American people will survive as well. It should also be noted that Captain Phillips, even after his harrowing experience, wrote the book “A Captain’s Duty” which is the basis for the film and he actually even returned to duty in July 2010. The pirates did not fair so well. Three were killed by Navy Seals during the captain’s rescue. The leader was captured, convicted of piracy, and is currently serving time in U.S. Federal prison.

During the latter stages of his ordeal, Captain Phillips said to his captors, “There’s gotta be something other than fishing and kidnapping people.” To which Muse replied, “Maybe in America. Maybe in America.” Maybe in America indeed, but certainly not for long; not unless the American people choose to stand up to our political pirate captors and say, “Enough!”

YOU CAN'T GO BACK

A friend of mine blogged today about how she would love to renounce technology for a day and as she put it "give myself permission to step back in time 15 years when I feel like it and unplug from the world." Because she is a true friend, and we all know that "everything seems greener" on the other side, I shared my tale of whoa with her. I will now share it with you all too, least you start having nostalgic feelings of your pre-technology days because, as I found out first hand, going back is truly not as appealing as it may sometimes sound.

My Blackberry just died one day, no warning, just suddenly nothing worked except the W and Q keys. That's it. By day's end when I took its sad little body to Sprint for help, it could do nothing but powerup. The latest and greatest, the new Q10 is scheduled to come out sometime this spring [note: at press time a firm launch date in the US has still not been announced], so the Sprint rep convinced me to just transfer to an old phone, any old phone I might have lying around, and wait for this new modern miracle to arrive, otherwise I would lock myself into a year contract with its soon-to-be outdated replacement. I think he saw my 6 year old BB Curve and didn't dare put me into anything with a potentially short shelf life, wisely understanding how I hang onto things as long as humanly and technologically possible. So I took his advice (after much angst), found an old flip phone and had them transfer over contacts. Sadly, the flip phone only held the first 300 of my contacts which got me to "ja". Even my husband didn't make the cut.

My whole life was in that Blackberry, my contacts, my calendar, my notes to myself, my music, my pictures and trapeze videos. Everything, hanging in the balance. I kept the now dead, except its precious brain, BB on life support, charging, and tried to limp along with a phone that was just that and not much more. The phone couldn't email, couldn't text - well, efficiently anyway because you had to tap the #7 key four freakin' times just to type a single "s" - I couldn't check friends Facebook pages or update my own status. I couldn't use GPS to get me where I needed to go, I couldn't use my Starbucks app to pay or find out the nearest Starbucks when I was outside my usual haunts or Google the definition of a word that popped into my head. I was a girl lost!

I eventually gave in and bought a used BB Curve off Amazon, same make/model as my old one, except dark grey instead of red (sort of sexy, I now think). It functions exactly the same. Well, it did after they transferred ALL of my contacts and much of my other stored data from the brain of my dearly departed. I had made it, I was back on the grid! And it was the worst two weeks of my life in recent memory. Just ask my poor husband who had to listen to me moan and cry the entire time I was unplugged from the world.  

2012 into 2013



[*It is, however, perfectly acceptable to drink from a giant spoon. Cheers!]



Out with the old,
In with the new.
Have a good time,
Just don't drink from a shoe!*

Stop your complaining,

2012 wasn't so bad.

Take a look back,
At all the fun that you had.

Remember the good times,
With family and friends,
But mostly the small things,
The odds and the ends.

Trying something new
To get out of that rut.
Those new jeans
Looking really good on your butt.

Playing catch with the kids,
Playing fetch with your hound.
The thrill of the hunt,
That bargain you found.

Filling your lungs,
Breathing in deep.
And for us insomniacs
Some occasional sleep.

Impressing someone by
Flexing your pecs.
Long passionate kisses,
And really good sex

The true luxury of
Long hot showers.
And yes, I mean this,
Even grocery store flowers.

Even if all you really did
Was survive,
Send up a cheer {hooray!}
You're alive!

And now a new year,
To try once again.
To reach your Nirvana,
To find your own zen.

Forget resolutions.
Just live your life.
Keep it simple,
And avoid the strife

Smile at strangers.
Hug a loved one.
Be good to you,
And have lots of fun

Challenge yourself,
Be the best you can be.
And make the most
Of Two, Zero, One, Three!