We Always Have Options

This week, I had to take my girls to get their sports physicals for high school swim. We went to the pediatrician that they have gone to since they were infants, the same pediatrician that did sports physicals the last two years for my older daughter for high school swim. To assure an easy in and out process I even made early morning appointments for them both - the first appointments of the day. We would knock this out, check a box, and get on with things.

Weight and height. Vital signs. Hearing and eye tests. Boom, boom, and boom. Done. And because the appointments were being done simultaneously, in the same room, this was going to be a piece of cake. Then the doctor informed me that their practice had recently made a "policy change" and because my daughters were adopted and thus we did not have any family medical history for them, they would have to see a cardiologist in order for her to sign off on a sports physical.

I stood there stunned! Dumfounded even. If you know my girls, you know that they are about the healthiest kids around. They have swum Club Swim year round and summer league since they were 7 and 5 years old respectively. They have both danced since the age of 3. They do trapeze and aerial arts. The youngest even enjoys running with her dad. Neither of these kids has ever had any medical issues and rarely even gets a cold! I tried reasoning with the doctor by pointing all of these things out to her. 

Her hands were tied she claimed. It was simply their new office policy. But that's not the state's requirement, I pointed out - there was nothing on that form that indicated that Virginia High School League required that my kids jump through the additional hoop of seeing a cardiologist to be cleared to do an activity that they have done for a decade. She agreed that it didn't make much sense and said that she might be able to sign the form with the stipulation that a cardiologist appointment was recommended. What? That's not a clearance to participate. If anything, that would flag a problem that didn't even exist.

While this discussion was going on between the doctor and I and in front of my kids, one of them began silently crying. The one that never cries, I might add. Seriously, I have seen her cry three times in her entire life. Once when we threw her with a surprise birthday at age 3; a birthday party that she had said for months that she wanted but clearly was not really on board with after all. Once after getting a really serious gash that clearly required emergency treatment; she was not crying from the injury, but rather began crying when we told her that she would need stitches. She actually tried to talk us out of it and she didn't cry while getting the stitches. The third time I saw her cry was on a trip to China when a TSA-equivalent Chinese official removed and confiscated a small snow globe that had been given to her by her orphanage nanny. That one still haunts me to this day because there was nothing I could do to fix it.

When I realized that this encounter with the pediatrician was making her cry, that was it. I was done. I told the doctor that we would be going elsewhere for the needed physicals. I checked out, got copies of their medical records, and we went to the CVS Minute Clinic and got the physicals done that very morning. It made for a very bumpy start to the day, but in the end, all was well.

I am relating this story because when those in my house woke this morning to what for us, and many others across this nation, was very unexpected election news, we were disappointed in our country and the choice that had been made. It's a "policy change" that we are not on board with, and quite frankly makes little sense on its face. Oh, I get that it was born out of frustration and a feeling of helplessness by a certain part of the population. I get that they were willing to overlook some seriously questionable behavior to get what they felt had been taken from them. But still, I am a bit shell-shocked that things didn't turn out better. I want to argue why none of this should ever have happened, that it is not right, that it makes no sense, that no one should be left to have so few options. I want to cry. In fact, I did cry because I am not as stoic as my daughter.

But here's the thing, now more than ever, I am committed to finding a way to protect and support those that I love, to be an advocate for them, find options and make things right. I am, now more than ever, committed to helping those who can not help themselves because if I don't, who will. I am, now more than ever, committed to teaching my daughters to stand up for themselves and to make sure that we always move forward, never back; someday we will get there, hopefully in their lifetime. I am, now more than ever, committed to not letting the bullies and the bastards get me down or change who I am and what I stand for. I am, now more than ever, committed to not simply taking "policy change" as a requirement because there are always options. Today's news made for a bumpy start to the day -- to the next four years even, perhaps -- but we will knock this out, check a box and get on with things. And in the end, all will be well. It has to be. I can't do another snow globe. I won't let that happen.